do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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