if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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