I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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