nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
