I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize