Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
