Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
