shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
