it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
