There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
