Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
