I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
