Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
