Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
