I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
