and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
