dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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