..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
