Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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