She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
