$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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