I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
