Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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