dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Someone came in the potted fern
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
