So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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