I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
