could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize