He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
