love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
