I've blown a few things in my day
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
