That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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