if you like me you must not know who I am
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
