Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
