currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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