if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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