my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
