Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
