Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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