to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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