grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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