No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize