I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize