Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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