just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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