fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
