im drinking this country out of the recession.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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