White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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