My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
