This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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