There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
