Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
BRING THE BAGELS
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize