And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
