We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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