Whod you bang
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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