Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
