If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
