"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
