you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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