They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
