I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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