i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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