its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My pussy is not your playground.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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