It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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