it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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