her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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