Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
