I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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